My blog has turned one year some days ago. It turns out it was created on the day when they celebrate Los Reyes (Three wise men) in Spain. The 6th of January. Which is also Christmas Eve in Orthodox countries like my own Ukraine. So I have to divide my attention between three celebrations now. Not a bad problem, really 😊
A month before this little anniversary I started thinking about what I will write. I’ve seen blog birthday posts in my feed celebrating number of followers. I wish I could write: “And suddenly there were 2.000 followers, thank you guys for your love”. But nope, not possible. No thousands. And writing: “Now I have totally 180 followers” would sound funny, but not everyone will get the irony of it. Second, I don’t connect love and numbers. I tended to get caught in the numbers game, but not anymore. Well, only while playing bingo. But I lost the connection between feeling good and getting numbers of followers and likes since I got off the Instagram. Instagram has even created a turn-off for numbers after I learned about mass-following: all those people who follow you so you will follow them back. There was a person who followed me three times. Wow, she really liked me! I wonder if the same things exists on WordPress. Do you think people follow you just to wake your interest for their blog? And those likes, omg, how I missed the like-button for years on Livejournal blogging platform! And now I feel like saying: “take it back! Turn it off!” The same reason: sometimes it seems to me that people hit the like-button even without seeing your post. Why otherwise can there be more likes than views of a post? Is there such thing like mass-liking here? Like you know, on Instagram you get likes from shops and other marketing platforms connected to your post.
Oh, I didn’t mean my anniversary post to be about numbers and blogging frustrations – but it looks like it becomes just about this. Lovely 😊
I am so grateful for the conversation on the blog! Sometimes I read the blog posts that say: “thank you for 1000 views!”. There are people celebrating the number of new followers and the number of views. Sometimes I find myself also caught up in the numbers game. This is the world we are living in. But I really enjoy when I don’t care about the numbers (I also found that less time on Instagram helped to beat that habit :)). I would not mind 1000 views too, but I’d better exclaim: “thank you for those 2 comments you left under my post!” They are more meaningful to me than numbers. Because they sparkle a conversation, they help me think and change and grow, and that is so precious (which maybe great number of views provides too, I just lack the experience of it :))
November is not an easy month for blogging. It is getting darker, the days are so grey and so short. My inspiration gave me a lot of ideas some weeks ago – and disappeared for a while. Then again, I got caught up in writing about interesting subject on my blog in Russian. And what makes me come back to this blog, in the times of low statistics and poor light conditions, is those meaningful conversations. Thank you for them, dears!
I have wanted to write under this title for months already. Today I have walked into the bookstore, opened randomly that famous book about hygge (by Meik Wiking) and there it was: my title! Though the idea was different. But still. Thank you, Meik! Now, since the title is out there (apparently a bit before I coined it myself), I can continue the discussion.
Meik writes that spending time in a hyggeligt way with family and close friends can have its dark, less pleasant side: the newcomers find it difficult to get into a circle. The Danes seem to be so preoccupied with their own circles which makes them not so open and inclusive folks. “But once you’ve gotten in, you are in”, he says.
Why I am so afraid to feel my negative emotions? Why when I feel despair or anxiety rising up do I want to run and hide, to distract myself, to do anything but avoid feeling what I feel? I am not a good runner in sports, but I am a very good runner from my fears. Isn’t it generally a human condition? We try to stop ourselves from feeling the way we consider negative. But what if we stop stopping – and start exploring?
Feeling is healing, I have recently heard in a yin yoga class. And I loved that thought. But I am so good in suppressing the feelings I don’t like – even though I consider myself very self-conscientious and in touch with my inner life. But it shows in situations where I face really uncomfortable emotions that I have no interest for self-inquiry. I just would love to switch the channel and be in a totally different state. As much as I respect Tony Robbins and all that philosophy of quantum leaps and switching states, I want to answer to that call for facing my emotion. I feel that it can bring me closer to my true self.
Lately I have seen that all the discoveries I was coming up with were kind of obvious things. I would get that aha moment and the light bulb in my head would go “I need to share it!”. But then I would start thinking and suddenly see that my idea is not really my idea, that I have read about the thing before, and I have even known it for a while. I was writing posts on my Russian-speaking blog, and felt like I was expressing very obvious things.
At first I felt like I hit the showstopper. So what do I do now? Do I sit around and wait for a really original idea? And indeed, are there so many original ideas that are shared out there? I guess, it is just my big ego that wants me to come up with something genial and groundbreaking, but that – instead of motivating me – keeps me procrastinating and stuck.